I've been thinking about home a lot lately.
What makes a home? How do you locate home?
What words, ideas, images define a home? What does "home" really mean to you?
How would you answer?
I've been asking around. Since I am in a community of expats, I thought their range of experiences would be enlightening. Some have been moving around for over a decade, some have created their families abroad- and some are wrapping it up, heading back..."home".
Many times I got straight forward answers. Some expected, and others not so much.
Once in a while I was told I think too much and should just look for the good times-- live in the moment. Not bad advice, but also not the point.
I am not feeling as critical of my own situation as I did a few months ago. I no longer plan my escape late nights while listening to the traffic sing its incessant tune of breaks and engines and horns in the streets below. But I do continue to ask myself what is home? Am I home now? Where is.... what is...what do I tell my children? Where is their home? How should they feel anchored - build a sense of self if this apartment is not home?
How should I?
And yet, I can say this place is definitely not fulfilling my sense of home.
While I roam around in search of a sense of home for myself and my family, I feel bound to ask: What do you think? What/ Where is home?
What is home? I am beginning to feel home as a memory, rather than an experience or a place I can pin point with a detailed description anyone could follow and find for themselves.
Where is home? Home is where my children and spouse are.
What is home? Home is where I grew up- my point of reference.
Where is home? Home is where I can laugh with ease.
What is home? Home is where my native tongue is spoken.
Where is home? Home is where my parents live.
Where is home? Home is lots of places all at once. We are in the grand scheme of things nomadic. World travelers. We arrive, settle, make friends and share some time with others. We form bonds. It hurts when they are broken. And then, we too move on. I know how our friends back home feel. Here, we are left behind too. And yet, we move on. And after a while back home feels like the starting place, and perhaps the finishing place. But it is one of many stops along the way as well.
Home. Place, people, sounds, smells, memories.
What is home? Home is a place of memories we to which we cling. But if we ever tried to return there, we would be miserably disappointed.
Where is home? Home is where my spiritual center is.
Where is home? Home is the space between 2 people.
What is home? Home is a place of strength, renewal. A place full of people you can return to any time. Home is where you go when you feel lost. Home is where you are loved unconditionally, and can love back that way.
